Wanna Give Someone the Finger!

The first thing I want to talk about today is my ring finger on my right hand.  Or, should I say, my 'Former' ring finger....since I can no longer wear any of my dozens of rings on it!  The knuckle on this finger has taken on a life of it's own, and I really, REALLY don't like it!  Today it hurts.  A lot! So I'm gonna share.  About a year ago I noticed that my knuckle was swelling and it was becoming hard to get my rings on and off.  I figured, okay.  I've got arthritis in various parts of my body, including both thumbs, so it stands to reason that my fingers will eventually be affected. Problem is, it just kept getting bigger and was hurting quite a bit.  I mean, I already take meds for my arthritis (which doesn't take care of all of the associated pain and/or discomfort, but helps a great deal) so why was it hurting so much?  I went to see my Doc so he could determine if mayhaps it was a cyst or a chipped bone or something, and he deemed it good old arthritis. Crap.  So, deal with it.  It was about that time that I took the 1st picture here, back in September.

It quit bothering me and didn't seem to be metamorphosing, so I decided to have some of my favorite rings resized.  At the going price of gold and silver, it is a little pricey these days to go up 2 full ring sizes, but Chuck agreed that it was fine so I did about 8 or 9 rings.  Now, my ring finger WAS a size 9, but this knuckle now required a size 11 for clearance. My middle finger is size 11, so I figured that if my ring finger decided to have another growth spurt, I could always wear these rings on my middle finger.

This second picture was taken this AM, and you can see that it has, in fact, started metamorphosing again. This AM the whole thing is just throbbing and hurts the entire length of it, not just the knuckle. Guess that's what prompted me to finally write about it.That had been my intention when I took the 1st picture, but I never got around to it.  That's just a really big change in 5 months time. I think maybe I'll let Dr. H take another look and see if I can inspire him to snap a little x-ray of it....just for peace of mind....or something. 

The sad thing is, that I have a massive jewelry collection.  Well over 100 rings.  Seriously.  All gold and silver and gemstone.  A lot of them can't be resized 2 sizes, because of their settings.  And the only finger they will fit on is my left ring finger, which houses my wedding ring.  Lots of $$ tied up and just sitting there, but worst of all is the fact  that I dearly love most of those abandoned rings and it gives me a huge sad to not be able to wear them.  Ah, hell...enough sniveling.

Yesterday I went for my 'annual' eye exam.  It's been 2 years :-).  When we 1st moved here I went to Fayetteville Mall, to Sears Optical cuz they had a great sale on glasses happening.  What I found was an awesome eye Doctor!  She's amazing and SO thorough and just plain adorable.  So I continue to go there.  Yesterday, glasses were 50% off and because I am a repeat customer, I got an extra 10%.....sooooo.....when I was having trouble deciding between the purple or the cranberry, I decided to get both :).  I'm really sick of my current glasses (except when I want to read something) so it'll be fun to have 2 new and cool ones to wear.  (life's simple pleasures). 

But, I do have to snivel a wee bit more.  The trek from the parking lot, through half of Sears, to get to the Optical shop, just about did me in.  And the trek BACK to the parking lot DID do me in.  Holy Crap!  I sat in the truck thinking, what the hell do I think I'm doing???  Going to San Diego in 3 weeks.  Going to Alaska in 7 1/2 weeks.  I should be doing these things after my surgery!  Well.....I WILL be doing them then, too. But still.....I need to see my friends.  I can't wait to be together with Poolie and Terri T again!  And God knows, I desperately NEED to see Terri and Riley and Maggie and Emily and Timmy and Xander and....yes, even my SIL, Michael :-).  I just SO hate to be an inconvenience or imposition because of my freaking limitations.  I feel like such a wuss.  But the reality is, not one of them will make me feel that way.  In fact, ALL of them will make me feel like I'm the same old Yankee Chick and the same old Mom and the same old Grammy and it'll all be good!  Damn good!! So what the hell am I whining about?!?!?  It's just been over 3 years of this shit and I'm so sick of it!!! 

It's been exactly 3 years this month since I last rode my Susie, so I guess that makes it 3 1/2 years.  I first went to see the Doc about my severe hip pain whilst riding  back in September of '08. (but I wasn't giving up on riding yet!)  Holy cow!  Holy Moly!  Holy Crap!!! 

Now I want to write about Susie and I want to write about my antique booth, but this is long enough!  Hopefully I will get my butt back here and write about that stuff tomorrow!  In case anyone decides to come and read. :-)

Poolie Sent Me

Yes she did, indeed.  I'd pretty much given up on this whole blog thing, but it does still haunt me  I mean, the urge is still there.......is there a Viagra for blogging???  Hahahaha  Maybe now that I'm getting close to the end of some rough times, I can find more upbeat things to write about.  I felt that all my posts have become negative, but my life has been pretty damn negative for quite some time.  That is simply the way of it!

I do have some upcoming events that will certainly put a positive spin on things and I do need to write about them, right??

First up is my trip to San Diego next month, to spend a week with Poolie and Terri T.  It's been 2 years since we were last together and it's high time to meet up again! 

After that, I will be going to Alaska for a month. Leaving April 20th and returning May 23rd.  I totally can't wait for that!!!  There will be love and hugs and roller derby and fun and movies and fun food and roller derby and hugs and more love and more roller derby and exciting stuff!!!!!!!!


And THEN, on June 11th, I will have my long awaited surgery.  Bionic hip #2 and after my recovery from that, I am hoping and praying and wishing for a far better quality of life than I have had in 3 years!  Or has it been 4???  Too freakin long, that's for damn sure!

So, this is a start.......I will elaborate more on those things and other stuff as well, in the days to come.  I have lots of Roller Derby news and pictures to share.....and I'm sure I'll come up with other things.....I just know it.  And I need to do some new pictures and some tidying up around this here blog page, too.  See ya soon!

Bless Me Blog-Father...

for I have sinned.  It has been 2 months and one week since my last confession blog entry.  I haven't even been reading any!  Just an occasional peek at a few.  Blogging just doesn't hold my interest like it once did.  I try really, REALLY hard and I do think about it a great deal, but never quite make it here.  So many of my old blog buddies don't write any more and some of them are on FaceBook, so we keep in touch there.  That's not the same.  FB is a whole different ball of wax and shouldn't replace blogging, by any means. 

So, I'm here today but might not be here again for quite awhile.  Who knows.My life is so helter skelter.  I have no real (or reasonable) routine and it's hard for me to function and accomplish much of anything this way.  But I can't seem to find my groove.  And every time I try to establish some sort of routine to my days, if it gets interrupted, I get all flustered or even resentful of the intrusion.  Like....what the hell does it matter?!?  I'm hopeless. LOL

I do have some amazingly good news to share! Which is one reason I have been drawn to my blog. I am getting together with  2 of my bestest buddies in the whole wide world in March!!  My Senior Moments, Terri T and I will be flying to San Diego to spend a week with Poolie!  We met in the World of Blog and have had several get-togethers.  Always an adventure and always great fun.  I can't wait to spend time with them and I can't wait to just get away from it all for a few days! 

I will also be heading to Alaska for a month at the end of April or first part of May.  Haven't got that pin pointed yet, as it is pending pinning down the dates of a trip Chuck will be taking in the spring.  He'll be going to Wyoming with Dixie.  A guy he knows has a cattle ranch there and he wants to be in on Spring Round-up and Branding.  If he had a bucket list, I guess doing something like this would be right at the top, so good for him :).  I'm just enjoying a peaceful easy feeling of knowing that he doesn't mind my month long trip to Alaska again.  Last year was so awesome and this year will be even better! 

I think for now, I need to get off of here and go to some X-Mas decorating and stuff.  Chuck has been busy all week getting ready to have Dixie and her buggy in a local Christmas parade and so he only got all my decorations out today.  Puts me a bit behind schedule for trying to get my X-Mas spirit mustered up, but better late than never!  TTFN, if anyone is out there!  LOL

Election Day in Alaska

Today is a big day for my family.  My awesome SIL, Michael is running for a second term for Borough Assembly.  Here's one of his ads.  I love that he is so well spoken, but then he wouldn't have been so successful in the radio industry if he wasn't, and certainly wouldn't have his own radio talk shows!  And that lovely voice at the end of the ad?  Yep.  My lovely daughter, Terri, who also has a great radio voice and used to do a lot of ads :)
https://www.facebook.com/video/video.php?v=2257025436426

Hope that link works okay so you can see/listen.  His opponent is  a lawyer that is a serious snark.  He even had a newspaper ad that stated one of the reasons to vote for him is because 'he is NOT Michael Dukes'.  He has taken pot shots at Michael because of his size as well as his adamant support of the 2nd Amendment.  Like either one of those things has anything to do with the local Borough government.  He's a low life scum.  Michael will win by a landslide.  Heh.

At 6:30 AM Alaska time, I sent Michael a text to wish him luck and let me know how many points he wins by.  LOL  He texted me back and said he & his supporters were already on downtown street corners waving signs.  Gonna be along day.....for all of us.  Sure wish I was there to help!  I would keep the donuts and muffins coming and the Lattes and Sludge Cups flowing. 

There is always something exciting going on with my wonderful Alaskan family.  Riley got herself new skates.  Custom ordered.

I am LOVIN the green wheels, but the main 'custom' part is the pink leather.  Pink and black are the team colors.  She saved her tips for EVer so she could order these, bless her heart!  Some of her team mates have this brand and others are drooling :).  Regardless, she got them on Friday and has been counting the minutes until derby practice Tuesday PM so she can seriously get her skate on with these new babies!!  Like her Mama said.....it must be as exciting as waiting to drive ones new car.  Hee hee.

I've had a couple people mention problems with my comments.  I wonder what's up with that?? Let me know if it continues to be an issue {via FB or email.  Time to run errands so I can get home and knit :)

Why Do I Need a Title???

It's so friggin' hot here. Still. And more triple digits predicted for next week.  We need rain SO bad!  Our lawn and the pasture is so dead and dry that even Gus, our Cocker Spaniel, leaves a little cloud of dust behind him when he trots across the pasture!  You should see the cloud of dust the horses raise!!

In this shot, you can see how badly poor Gus needs a hair cut, and I took this a couple weeks ago, so you can imagine his hairy curly self now.  Also alot less green on the ground than that now, as well.

He does get to go to the groomers tomorrow, now that I can get out and about, so he'll be all sleek and fast and COOLER!

I'm happy to say that my hip is feeling great, most of the time.  It even feels normal.  Sure wish I could act and move like it's normal.  sigh..... It's really hard to keep myself from just 'doing things' when it feels normal.  But I'm not all healed yet and it's not ready to have me do all this normal stuff like bending or sitting comfortably or dancing thru the living room to the Boondock Saints theme song.  Sucks, I tell ya'!  But I try to stay focused and I improvise a LOT.  I just wish I had longer toes so it would be easier to pick up stuff that I drop.  hee hee

We've got 2 birthdays coming up this week.  My 2 baby boys, Tim and Xander!  Tim will be 11 on the 3rd and Xander will be 6 on the 5th!

Here's a great shot Terri got of them yesterday with a couple of Storm Troopers at AlaskaLand.  Pretty awesome huh?

So funny....Terri said to Xander "they look pretty scary....what if Darth Vader is near by".  Xander replied, "Mom, they're just guys in suits."  He's just so damn logical all the time, I told her she mayhaps should have named him "Spock".  LOL

Oh, yeah....an update on our toilet disaster the other day......they are fixed and all is well, however we now need to replace the ceiling in the Living Room.  I am so thankful I am married to a Contractor that has spent his whole life doing such things!  I figure it will only take him 2 or 3 years to get around to it. :-p

Time in a Bubble

Well, the time has come for Chuck to either put me in a bubble or lock me in my room.  My COBRA health insurance expired on July 21st and I am not eligible for any other health insurance coverage until April 2012.  8 or 9 months with NO coverage.  Pretty scary.  Especially since the 4 prescriptions that I take tally up to about $900 a month without insurance.  That alone is enough to make me need to double up on 2 or 3 of them!  LOL  God forbid that I have any illness or injury that requires much medical attention.  That's a long time to hold my breath and keep my fingers crossed.

Oh, yeah.....and the new deal about how insurance companies can't deny you because of "pre-existing conditions"?  Well guess what?  They have a way around that.  Surprised?  Not me.  I was denied by several companies because of "height, weight, blood pressure and age".  I know that it's pretty sad that I didn't lose 10 or 20 pounds for each of the 4" in height that I lost because of my back issues and subsequent surgery.  It's also sad that I have had high blood pressure forEVer, but it is perfectly controlled by one itty bitty pill I take every day, and I am certainly not clear on why it's not okay to be my height and weight with controlled blood pressure at age 59....but hey, what do I know?!

One insurance agent told me about something Arkansas has called State Pool Insurance and they will provide medical insurance to anyone that has been denied insurance coverage for any reason.  It's great......but the premiums are out of this world, with astronomical deductibles etc..  So we've decided to wing it and hope for the best!  Then in April I will be eligible for Medicare through my Social Security.....BUT, I won't be able to get any supplemental insurance to go with my Medicare until I'm 65!  What a mess.

This also means that my left hip better hold up better than my right one did, for another year!  I won't even be able to get injections in my left hip to carry me over, cuz I believe they are about $1,000 plus a pop.  Ah, well......hopefully it won't be an issue.  This is something I must maintain positive thoughts on!!

Yesterday was the Golden Days Parade in Fairbanks and my girls, The Midnight Sun Roller Girlz, were in the parade!  They all looked awesome (from the photos I have seen), but my Riley (Boom-Dot Saint) was looking especially SaSSy!  And it was reported that she was SUPER sassy and showing off some trick skating for the crowd.  How I wish I coulda been there!

Golden Days is a really big deal in Fairbanks that entails a week long celebration of the discovery of gold by Felix Pedro in 1902.  Everyone gets involved one way or another and it's great fun for all!  I'm so glad that they had such great weather and a nice sunny beautiful day for the parade this year! :).  I was trying to find a good link to the parade so you could see some of what it's like, but didn't have much luck.  I'll wait and post some pictures that the girlz took, I guess!  They should be good, good stuff!

Ready to FLY!

In 23 hours I will finally be boarding the plane for my month long visit to Terri & The kids! Yay! I'm nervous about the trip and how well I'll fair, but I did suck it up and made arrangements for a wheelchair to get me from the plane to my next gate and each segment of my flight.

As for my need for a wheelchair, I'll update you on my recent medical issues. My back surgeon finally sent me for X-Rays and finally looked at them and deemed my spinal fusion a total success. All had healed completely and properly and he doesn't feel that my leg pain/issues are connected to my back surgery at all. He has forwarded me to an Orthopedic specialist. Of course, the back surgeon's office screwed around for so long that I can't see the new DR until I get back from Alaska. So walking will continue to be a major issue for my entire visit, but we will all deal with it! AND! My GP, bless his heart, gave me some Vicodin to make the trip a little easier.

And so, I start all over with a new set of issues to deal with. sigh.....I swear that someone (or several someones) out there has a voodoo doll with my name on it and is busy sticking pins in it!!

I do still have some back pain but it all blends in with the leg issues and I often find myself wondering WTF I even had the surgery for to begin with! My GP feels that I had what is referred to as a "Failed Fusion" and that the surgeon (of course) wants me to think that his work was no less than perfect. We shall see, I guess. If the Orthopedic guy can't help me. or thinks I need more surgery, I will put that off as long as possible by going the Pain Management route. All speculation, at this point. I'll have to wait and see what June brings.

On top of all of that, my Cobra insurance ends July 31st and my Medicare won't start until the following March so in all reality, it may be another year before I can really accomplish much of anything. Lovely....just f&%$ing lovely!

Around here it has been raining for 40 days and 40 nights with much flooding of the area. Roads washed out, gigantic hail storms, tornados zipping around our heads, touching down NEAR us, but luckily not too close. And so, I shall leave the mess in Arkansas and go to 'break up' in Alaska, where there is much mud, many pot holes and melting of snow, layer by layer. The awakening of Spring in the Great Land is really lovely to behold. In a couple of weeks, it will be beautiful beyond measure.
But for me, the faces I see tomorrow afternoon will REALLY be what is beautiful beyond measure!!

I will sink into that welcoming home, full of love and comfort and enjoy and absorb every snippet of it! And there will be much celebrating while I am there! My birthday, Mother's Day, Terri's birthday and Riley's graduation!!! So much fun to be had! Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

CAN WE GO HOME NOW????

I have mentioned on previous posts that I have been working on Hubby's tax info. As background for some of you, he has his own small construction company. His original plan, when we came to Arkansas 7 1/2 years ago (eeep) was to start a construction company, build it up, sell it and we would return HOME to Alaska. At that time he figured it would take about 2 years. So, we packed up all his tools and equipment on his flat bed truck, loaded the motorhome and headed for Arkansas in August of 2003. {side note....Morg@n Stanley had lost most of our retirement funds for us and this was his "fix" for that)

He did really well, but things took a bit of a different turn than I expected. Anyways, after a year and a half of living in the motorhome I finally told him that he had to "shit or get off the pot". It was my hope that he would 'get off the pot' and we would just go home! But NoOoOoO.......He decided to take a dump! Told me to start looking for a house. The one time in allllll these years I stand up to him and it back fired!

After searching and searching and spending all my spare time driving around the country side looking at houses (wish I'd had my iPhone with the GPS then!)I finally found this one and it was perfect!Out of town, but not too far. 5 acres, with lots of room for the horses he has always wanted. And a nice, well built, well laid out home......so. Here we are. Sold our dream home in Alaska (that we planned and waited so many years to build....sigh) and bought this place. Am I happy? Not usually, but most days I try to make the best of it. I miss my Terri and the kids SOOOO much! And I miss Alaska and the unique and awesome lifestyle. And I miss my friends. {Don't even need to get into missing the 70 degree summers and how I hate 100 plus with dripping humidity} Don't get me wrong. Chuck misses Terri and the kids, too. A lot. Alaska, not so much (the dork), but he calls himself a "realist" and this is the way it has to be. What he thinks is the right thing for us. OK.

Anyway, Hubby is happy. Doing what he loves and he is very successful and has a great business and a terrific reputation. He's all hands on but has 2 people working full time and a couple of part timers come and go. We are surviving nicely, in these bad economic times and are VERY fortunate!

So, back to our tax info. I was totaling up everything and when I was done, I turned to him and said, "OMG! You grossed over $237,000. last year!!" He said, "Holy crap! That's almost a 1/4 of a million dollars!". I got up, walked over to him, put my arms around his neck, looked into his eyes and quietly asked........."can we go home now?". The SOB laughed. But only until I wapped him upside the head!

I tried. What can I say? Never hurts to ask.

I do have to say that he is pretty amazing. He is 70, going on 50, I'd say. High energy,{pain in the ass}, hard working,{superior attitude} ambitious,{BIG ego}, healthy, generous {show off}......we are very fortunate, indeed. Gotta take the bad with the good and just let it go.........LOL

But seriously. 1/4 of a million dollars! The 1st year {2004} he did about $89,000. I think. It's been growing ever since, but then so does the overhead. Hell, just his materials this year came to almost $100,000., sub-contractors were $80,000, payroll, equipment, maintenance, vehicles, hay and horse feed! There's no end to it! So, yes....while we are pretty comfortable, his gross is NOT what we live on! I wish!! I'd be flying to Alaska every month!!

We've had some rough times since coming here. Things that put a huge wedge between us, when for over 30 years we had what I thought was the "perfect relationship". Things that made me resent him.....that I may or may not be 'over'. My Mom died in a damn Assisted Living home before I could get her down here (if she could have even made the trip). He put me in a precarious situation that turned around and bit him squarely in the ass, but I'm the one that suffered for it. Went thru the whole I filed for divorce thing and survived that, but the aftermath has been rough. I think my surgery was a big turning point for us and although our relationship is very different than it was, it's pretty darn good right now! Guess that's a story for another day......maybe.

SURPRISE! Or Not.......

So, I have been playing around over here cuz I'm tired of the limitations that confront me with my lack of WP.org knowledge and ability and am finding that I might just like it here for a change........or not. We shall see. Nothing is set in stone. I'm just gonna post here tonight and see how I feel about it :)

Having this time off from work, I have been able to get back in my kitchen with some time and energy and actually prepare meals, people! I love to cook, although I do admit to the act of doing it e.v.e.r.y. night for 40 years became a bit dreary and tiresome. The past year that I have been at W*M, working late hours, has left Chuck to fend for himself most nights so he is enjoying having real meals every night once again, as well. I've been sticking with old favorites, until last night whist chatting with my sweet Terri on line and she gave me the incentive to try a new dish. She was telling me about a new restaurant that we need to try when I go up to visit and that they make the best Carne Asada. Not knowing what that was, I looked it up, found this and made it for dinner tonight
It turned out delightfully delicious! The meat marinade was heavenly, key notes being the fresh lime and cilantro complete with the char broiled effect of my grill. Very Yummy and a keeper for sure!

It was a beautiful day here today, but I for sure felt in my 'mental element' as a Yankee Lost in the Ozarks! As I was flitting around town (well, hobbling, rather than flitting, as my hip is still bothering a bit. Whatever) thoroughly enjoying the 68 degree day I began to notice something. It wasn't sunny, but rather cloudy and very misty. Enjoyable temp, nonetheless! I was noticing, however, that I was pretty much the only person wearing shorts and a t-shirt. People had sweaters on. Some people were wearing jackets. WTF?!? I began to feel a bit out of place (which I am) and like people were 'looking' at me (which they were). LOL Kinda funny I think.

I was finally able to get my Leave of Absence packet from W*M late this afternoon, so tomorrow I will proceed to determine exactly which Doctor will take responsibility and sign it for me. Once that is turned in, my Short Term Disability should kick in and I'll be good until I see the surgeon on Oct 8th and start the process for the real thing. I am wondering if I should do this with the aid of an attorney, however. I suppose the Doctor can advise me on that from his experience. Any of you that have any insight, please feel free to share your comments.

I'm going to lunch with Victoria again tomorrow. We had such a good time last week and it was so good to be with someone that I have known for so long and so well. We caught up on kids, cats, dogs, mutual friends, old co-workers. It was all good and I truly enjoyed it. Last time we tried, I guess I just wasn't ready. It didn't feel right. Now it does.

I think that's it for tonight. I have some quilting to do before Chuck goes to bed and the sound of my sewing machine keeps him awake. Geez. For such a big house, there are no quiet corners! Mayhaps I could move my sewing room to the barn :) (or his bed......)