I just realized that I didn't even enter a title for yesterdays post. That's okay.....the 3 or 4 of you that read me don't mind, now do you?!
I just did a sad thing and went thru my Google Reader and deleted all the old blogs that I used to read, but for what ever reason the bloggers have quit writing. I really miss a lot of these people and wonder what is happening in their lives these days. Many of them are on FaceBook, so I keep in touch there. I do love FaceBook, but it's no substitute for a blog. I mean, it IS if you have a very busy life and trying to blog was just too much to keep up with. I have let that happen a whole lot the past year or two and the bad thing about that is that ones readership drops off. Funnily (neener) enough, I have 26 people 'following' me on Reader, but I sure don't have that many people show up in my stats! Most of them are probably some of the same ones that I just deleted. LOL
My trip to San Diego was such a delightful change from my usual dreary and relatively isolated life, that I will probably be writing tid bits about my adventures for quite some time! Last night while I was replying to a comment that Indiana Terri left, I had made mention of trying to photograph Poolie's posters without the glare from the skylights. Later I got thinking about our 2nd day there, when I finally decided to ask Poolie what I was doing wrong with the bathroom lights. I asked her to go in with me and show me the mystery of why it seems so bright in there sometimes and other times, it is pretty dim. She took me in, showed me the light switch, flicked it on and with a flourish of her hand, showed me that the lights over the sink did, indeed, come on. I pointed to the ceiling and asked (like the dumb ass Yankee that I am) "what about that light? it was much brighter earlier!" As she burst into that delightful laugh that I (usually) love so much, the 'light bulb' in my wee leedle brain went on......and we simultaneously announced that it was a skylight! O.M.G!!!
That pretty much sums it up as to why they keep me around, doesn't it?!? They are the "Larrys" and I am "my brother Darryl and my other brother, Darryl". And if all y'all are too young to remember the Bob Newhart Show and have no idea what I'm talking about....well......just let Carlton the Doorman show you out! This Yankee isn't the brightest bulb in the box (especially under a skylight, at night) but by God, we won the fookin' war!!! So there!
And for those of you that would like a bit of a longer trip down memory lane
I almost forgot! My visit to the Cardio Vascular Center at the hospital here in Rogers yesterday was the usual fiasco. Yet another reminder of why I drive an hour each way to doctors and the hospital in Fayetteville! Anyway, once I FINALLY got to the place I needed to be and got signed in, I had the prettiest, bitchiest twit do the tests that my foot doctor ordered. Holy Crap! This chick was something else. The tests were simple enough. I had to lay on a table and she wrapped the calves of my legs with mondo blood pressure cuff type things and then stuck electrode thingys on my arms and feet and ankles....all whilst 'listening' to my legs. (Yeah. That's what I thought!) Okay, this went on for several minutes while the machine I was connected to was emitting all sorts of bizarre sounds (that were apparently coming from my legs). Since my spinal fusion, I can't lay flat on my bad very long without becoming extremely uncomfortable. One of the ways of relieving the discomfort is to bend one,or both, of my legs up. While she was getting out some more apparatus to attach to my toes, I bent my left leg up just a little, for a moment of relief. Holy crap! She turned around and SLAMMED my leg back down on the table and in a very ugly tone told me that I had to keep my legs flat! Whoa there girly girl!! I rose up off that table and told her that she better not do THAT again! Told her that leg is attached to a hip that desperately needs replacing and that in the past 2 years I have had a spinal fusion and the other hip replaced and it's pretty damn hard to lay flat on her stupid table while she dicks around! (yes, I said that) And I told her that is she doesn't finish soon, that my left leg will begin spasming and there's nothing I can do about it!. She backed down and was all apologetic. Asked me what happened and if I'd been in an accident or something. She had me so po'd that I lied.....but it sounded great. I told her that my horse threw me about 3 years ago. Hahahaha. Heck, that's what most people assume happened and it sure sounds better than the truth of falling off my NoridTrac ski machine and landing on a paint can! Anywho......I should find out in a few days if my toes are gonna fall off or not. I sure hope not, cuz I'm clumsy enough as it is!
*~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Yankee Chick~ Tales of a Yankee Lost in the Ozarks ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~*
Showing posts with label Doctor stuff. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Doctor stuff. Show all posts
Thursday, March 29, 2012
Wednesday, March 28, 2012
I ordered my Nextbook on Sunday and chose free shipping to save a few bucks. That usually takes awhile and they did give me a delivery date of April 5th. I knew it would show up before then, but didn't expect it as soon as yesterday! Needless to say, I stashed the box until Chuck went to bed and then spent 3 hours trying to make sense of it and downloading Apps. The 1st App??? Why, Angry Birds, of course! I can see several things:
Speaking of old geezers, this afternoon I get to go for a vascular screening of my feet. How funny is that? Because of my "toe issue" (which I'm not sure I ever blogged about, but wrote about on FB) the foot Dr wants to make sure that the circulation in my legs, feet and toes is okay before she confirms my problem to be from many years of frozen Alaska toes. I sure hope that's all it is, but it could be directly related to all the damn cigarettes that I have, will and do smoke. F*&%ing cigarettes, anyway!
I have to say that while I was in San Diego and my smoking was extremely limited, I felt a whole lot better. But I'm not smart enough to cut back when I don't have to. If I could just make myself go outside to smoke and not sit here at my computer puffing away, it would be such a big help. And every night when I go to bed I say to myself, "Margaret! Tomorrow is the day! You will NOT smoke in the house anymore!!" But that stupid Margaret won't listen. I told my friend, D, the other day that I'll quit after my surgery and I get all healed up. Then I won't have all the extra frustrations (the pain and limitations, blah blah, yada yada) to deal with. Should be easier, right? Yeah....right. I doesn't matter what the circumstances are. Smoking doesn't make it better at all, but it sure is comforting to reach for that pack of cigarettes and light one up. Oh, well. It won't be today cuz I just bought a carton yesterday. Can't waste $48 now can I????? Doh!
I must take my camera with me today and try to get some good shots of Spring Things in BFA. There are pretty things blooming everywhere, and I need to take some pictures before it gets too damn hot for me to give a crap.
My beautiful girls are losing their winter hair and will soon be gorgeous and shiny equine beauties! I wish I could be out there brushing them each day, but I can't. Chuck does a little each night when he gets home, but I miss being able to do it. Next year! I'll be back at it next year! And the grass is growing nicely in their pasture, so that Susie is munching happily while Dixie looks longingly over the fence, watching her Mama eat fresh green yummies. Dixie is on a diet again. Poor horse is forever on a diet. They need extra food in the winter to help keep up their body heat and Susie never gains, but Dixie blows up like a balloon. She's on her annual spring time diet of hay and water....no grass, no grain, no treats......other than her morning carrots.
There is a baby update, of sorts. Jin's contractions are too sporadic to amount to anything other than being annoying, so her Dr told her she could work if she wanted to. That was her plan for today. We'll see how long she lasts. I'm making pretty good progress on the blanket. I'm using a different pattern than I was originally and I like working on it much better. That will make a difference! Why? Cuz that's how I roll! LOL
For now, I feel a wee cleaning spree coming on and shall knit a bit each time I need to sit down for a few. Catch ya later!
- Gonna take awhile to get used to it
- I haven't fallen totally in love with it yet (this isn't a good thing. meh)
- I need a screen protector
- I really need a case, but can only find black for this new model and I really want red! Or green, like my Nook
- Not sure about the Android OS, although it shouldn't matter
- I'm bummed that although I could install Firefox as my browser, I can't use my Yahoo toolbar. which has all my bookmarks and I've used it for EONS. I'm sure I can move them.
Speaking of old geezers, this afternoon I get to go for a vascular screening of my feet. How funny is that? Because of my "toe issue" (which I'm not sure I ever blogged about, but wrote about on FB) the foot Dr wants to make sure that the circulation in my legs, feet and toes is okay before she confirms my problem to be from many years of frozen Alaska toes. I sure hope that's all it is, but it could be directly related to all the damn cigarettes that I have, will and do smoke. F*&%ing cigarettes, anyway!
I have to say that while I was in San Diego and my smoking was extremely limited, I felt a whole lot better. But I'm not smart enough to cut back when I don't have to. If I could just make myself go outside to smoke and not sit here at my computer puffing away, it would be such a big help. And every night when I go to bed I say to myself, "Margaret! Tomorrow is the day! You will NOT smoke in the house anymore!!" But that stupid Margaret won't listen. I told my friend, D, the other day that I'll quit after my surgery and I get all healed up. Then I won't have all the extra frustrations (the pain and limitations, blah blah, yada yada) to deal with. Should be easier, right? Yeah....right. I doesn't matter what the circumstances are. Smoking doesn't make it better at all, but it sure is comforting to reach for that pack of cigarettes and light one up. Oh, well. It won't be today cuz I just bought a carton yesterday. Can't waste $48 now can I????? Doh!
I must take my camera with me today and try to get some good shots of Spring Things in BFA. There are pretty things blooming everywhere, and I need to take some pictures before it gets too damn hot for me to give a crap.
My beautiful girls are losing their winter hair and will soon be gorgeous and shiny equine beauties! I wish I could be out there brushing them each day, but I can't. Chuck does a little each night when he gets home, but I miss being able to do it. Next year! I'll be back at it next year! And the grass is growing nicely in their pasture, so that Susie is munching happily while Dixie looks longingly over the fence, watching her Mama eat fresh green yummies. Dixie is on a diet again. Poor horse is forever on a diet. They need extra food in the winter to help keep up their body heat and Susie never gains, but Dixie blows up like a balloon. She's on her annual spring time diet of hay and water....no grass, no grain, no treats......other than her morning carrots.
There is a baby update, of sorts. Jin's contractions are too sporadic to amount to anything other than being annoying, so her Dr told her she could work if she wanted to. That was her plan for today. We'll see how long she lasts. I'm making pretty good progress on the blanket. I'm using a different pattern than I was originally and I like working on it much better. That will make a difference! Why? Cuz that's how I roll! LOL
For now, I feel a wee cleaning spree coming on and shall knit a bit each time I need to sit down for a few. Catch ya later!
Wednesday, April 27, 2011
Ready to FLY!
In 23 hours I will finally be boarding the plane for my month long visit to Terri & The kids! Yay! I'm nervous about the trip and how well I'll fair, but I did suck it up and made arrangements for a wheelchair to get me from the plane to my next gate and each segment of my flight.
As for my need for a wheelchair, I'll update you on my recent medical issues. My back surgeon finally sent me for X-Rays and finally looked at them and deemed my spinal fusion a total success. All had healed completely and properly and he doesn't feel that my leg pain/issues are connected to my back surgery at all. He has forwarded me to an Orthopedic specialist. Of course, the back surgeon's office screwed around for so long that I can't see the new DR until I get back from Alaska. So walking will continue to be a major issue for my entire visit, but we will all deal with it! AND! My GP, bless his heart, gave me some Vicodin to make the trip a little easier.
And so, I start all over with a new set of issues to deal with. sigh.....I swear that someone (or several someones) out there has a voodoo doll with my name on it and is busy sticking pins in it!!
I do still have some back pain but it all blends in with the leg issues and I often find myself wondering WTF I even had the surgery for to begin with! My GP feels that I had what is referred to as a "Failed Fusion" and that the surgeon (of course) wants me to think that his work was no less than perfect. We shall see, I guess. If the Orthopedic guy can't help me. or thinks I need more surgery, I will put that off as long as possible by going the Pain Management route. All speculation, at this point. I'll have to wait and see what June brings.
On top of all of that, my Cobra insurance ends July 31st and my Medicare won't start until the following March so in all reality, it may be another year before I can really accomplish much of anything. Lovely....just f&%$ing lovely!
Around here it has been raining for 40 days and 40 nights with much flooding of the area. Roads washed out, gigantic hail storms, tornados zipping around our heads, touching down NEAR us, but luckily not too close. And so, I shall leave the mess in Arkansas and go to 'break up' in Alaska, where there is much mud, many pot holes and melting of snow, layer by layer. The awakening of Spring in the Great Land is really lovely to behold. In a couple of weeks, it will be beautiful beyond measure.
But for me, the faces I see tomorrow afternoon will REALLY be what is beautiful beyond measure!!
I will sink into that welcoming home, full of love and comfort and enjoy and absorb every snippet of it! And there will be much celebrating while I am there! My birthday, Mother's Day, Terri's birthday and Riley's graduation!!! So much fun to be had! Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
As for my need for a wheelchair, I'll update you on my recent medical issues. My back surgeon finally sent me for X-Rays and finally looked at them and deemed my spinal fusion a total success. All had healed completely and properly and he doesn't feel that my leg pain/issues are connected to my back surgery at all. He has forwarded me to an Orthopedic specialist. Of course, the back surgeon's office screwed around for so long that I can't see the new DR until I get back from Alaska. So walking will continue to be a major issue for my entire visit, but we will all deal with it! AND! My GP, bless his heart, gave me some Vicodin to make the trip a little easier.
And so, I start all over with a new set of issues to deal with. sigh.....I swear that someone (or several someones) out there has a voodoo doll with my name on it and is busy sticking pins in it!!
I do still have some back pain but it all blends in with the leg issues and I often find myself wondering WTF I even had the surgery for to begin with! My GP feels that I had what is referred to as a "Failed Fusion" and that the surgeon (of course) wants me to think that his work was no less than perfect. We shall see, I guess. If the Orthopedic guy can't help me. or thinks I need more surgery, I will put that off as long as possible by going the Pain Management route. All speculation, at this point. I'll have to wait and see what June brings.
On top of all of that, my Cobra insurance ends July 31st and my Medicare won't start until the following March so in all reality, it may be another year before I can really accomplish much of anything. Lovely....just f&%$ing lovely!
Around here it has been raining for 40 days and 40 nights with much flooding of the area. Roads washed out, gigantic hail storms, tornados zipping around our heads, touching down NEAR us, but luckily not too close. And so, I shall leave the mess in Arkansas and go to 'break up' in Alaska, where there is much mud, many pot holes and melting of snow, layer by layer. The awakening of Spring in the Great Land is really lovely to behold. In a couple of weeks, it will be beautiful beyond measure.
But for me, the faces I see tomorrow afternoon will REALLY be what is beautiful beyond measure!!
I will sink into that welcoming home, full of love and comfort and enjoy and absorb every snippet of it! And there will be much celebrating while I am there! My birthday, Mother's Day, Terri's birthday and Riley's graduation!!! So much fun to be had! Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
Saturday, April 2, 2011
Fusion Anniversary
Well, Wednesday was the 1 year anniversary of my spinal fusion surgery. I went Thursday for my X-Rays and will see the DR next week. I spoke with his nurse Tuesday about some issues I've been having and they are of some concern, so I need to be checked out. I actually thought he needed to see me at then end of a year anyway, but she told me that he had 'released' me because my healing was so well progressed on my 6 month X-rays. I think I missed that, but I'm glad I called because my legs are giving me trouble that can, apparently, occur when a 3 or 4 level fusion is done. {Mine was a 4 level}
So anyway, I still have trouble walking. As a rule, on a daily basis, it just starts bothering me when I walk too far {which isn't far at all} or stand too long. My legs get achy and just don't want to 'go' and my lower back starts getting achy. Some days I can get a lot accomplished, other days, I just can't do it.
Personally, from my research, I have an idea it might be nerve damage. I'll just have to wait and see what he says next week and go from there. I have to learn to accept my limitations and make the best of what ever cards I've been dealt! But I'm not done looking for help, either.
Something just caught my eye, out of my front window, and I got looking and realized that it was my neighbors 2 cats running across the roof of their trailer house. How funny! I know how it sounds to have a squirrel playing around on the roof of our motorhome, so I can imagine the noise 2 big old cats make on their roof!
Gads. I've been blogging so irregularly and yet my head is always full of little tid bits I wanna blog about. I really should make notes, cuz I open up a page to write a new post and they all escape me. Doh! I wish I could be like our dear Poolie and have something fun and interesting to write about everyday.
I have been trying to remember to take my Nikon with me and get some pictures of various "Spring Things" around here, so I'll share some baby cows from down the road with you. They're so cute (and clean-lol)
A couple of babies.
*****************************************************************************
"Hey, Lady. Whatcha doin'?"
*****************************************************************************
"OMG! RUN!! She's got a camera!!!!!"
So anyway, I still have trouble walking. As a rule, on a daily basis, it just starts bothering me when I walk too far {which isn't far at all} or stand too long. My legs get achy and just don't want to 'go' and my lower back starts getting achy. Some days I can get a lot accomplished, other days, I just can't do it.
Personally, from my research, I have an idea it might be nerve damage. I'll just have to wait and see what he says next week and go from there. I have to learn to accept my limitations and make the best of what ever cards I've been dealt! But I'm not done looking for help, either.
Something just caught my eye, out of my front window, and I got looking and realized that it was my neighbors 2 cats running across the roof of their trailer house. How funny! I know how it sounds to have a squirrel playing around on the roof of our motorhome, so I can imagine the noise 2 big old cats make on their roof!
Gads. I've been blogging so irregularly and yet my head is always full of little tid bits I wanna blog about. I really should make notes, cuz I open up a page to write a new post and they all escape me. Doh! I wish I could be like our dear Poolie and have something fun and interesting to write about everyday.
I have been trying to remember to take my Nikon with me and get some pictures of various "Spring Things" around here, so I'll share some baby cows from down the road with you. They're so cute (and clean-lol)
A couple of babies.
*****************************************************************************
"Hey, Lady. Whatcha doin'?"
*****************************************************************************
"OMG! RUN!! She's got a camera!!!!!"
Thursday, November 11, 2010
Here's to a Better Me.
It's been a pretty good week so far. I'm adjusting fairly well to my new contact lens, I got my new glasses and love them and had a terrifically enlightening appointment with my regular Doctor.
The problem with my new glasses is that I like them so well, I didn't wear my contact for 2 days! Heh. So that 'set me back' on my adjustment period a bit. I went with Chuck yesterday for his eye exam (to make sure he didn't leave with dorky new glasses, LOL) and I talked to her about the difficulty with reading the computer. She said she could adjust the prescription, but that she set it for regular reading and I decided I would leave it as is. I'll just do most of my computing in the AM before I put in my contact, and in the evening after I take it out. Or, maybe I'll simply adjust. For all other applications, it's totally awesome! Now I just have to break the habit of grabbing my chest every time I go to read something {since I've worn my glasses on a chain around my neck for the last 4 or 5 years!}.
As for my Doctor appointment....I went to see him thinking that I maybe needed to go back on Premarin (HRT). I haven't written about it.....but, hell, I haven't written much of anything in so long it's ridiculous. Part of the reason is the old "snoopy reader/prying eyes" thing, but I don't think there's anyone reading me anymore that I don't want here, and if there is.......tough noogies.
I think I wrote about going OFF Premarin many months ago, in my old blog {the one that got swallowed up into the blogoshere), but that did happen not long before my surgery (which was March 30th). He figured that since I had been on it for 10 years, he wanted me to think about going off it and see what resulted. I joked at the time that if I grew a mustache I was going right back on it, but that never happened so I didn't give anything else much thought.
Shortly thereafter, I was caught up in the whirlwind of preparing for, having and recovering from my Spinal Fusion Surgery. Between the various and severe pain involved, the emotional drama induced by being slapped in the face with limitations that I couldn't have fathomed and the whole process in general......let's suffice to say that I have been a train wreck for a very long time! Now that I am 7 months post-op and am {sorta} feeling a bit like my old self {sometimes}, even tho' it is too soon to know exactly what my permanent limitations will be.....I'm just not happy with where I am right now. Here's a peek into a Day in the Life of Yankeechick.
Well, mayhaps I won't do that. Let me just say that I have been having horrendous mood swings and have been SO emotional that I have been making myself crazy, as well as a couple of my dear friends that have to deal with me on a daily basis....neither of whom I will talk to about what my problem is, because most of the time I don't even know myself. Or, even worse....I DO know, and it's so ridiculous and petty that I'm ashamed to admit it. {which of course makes me more emotional}. My anxiety levels are off the charts, partially due to putting so much energy into trying to suppress and hide my feelings. I spend so much time doing that, even when I'm by myself, that I can't make myself do anything else. I don't even call my babies or lovely daughter, because I know I'll hang up the phone and literally cry for hours. All I do is cry. When I'm not crying, I am pissed off at the world. And I mean PISSED. One of my friends is like my own personal little punching bags and why this person puts up with me, I have no idea.
In addition to all that, there have been mini hot flashes {more like 'flushes'}, night sweats, not sleeping and the worst thing (along with the uncontrollable emotions) is not wanting to do ANYthing. No quilting, no knitting, no reading. I can't stand sitting in the house, so I drive into town with a list of several things to do....and then don't wanna do them. So I drive. Driving helps. I like to drive. One day I just kept driving and found myself halfway across Missouri before I snapped out of it.
Do I sound totally crazy or what? "Unstable" is the word that keeps popping into my head. Not so, says Dr. H. He began to analyze my history with my anti-depressants. He had switched me from Zoloft to Cymbalta about a year ago or more. The transition went well, but it still wasn't cutting it. The usual dose of Cymbalta is 30 or 60 mg. He had me on 60, which is pretty much the max. I knew someone that was taking 90, however and it was extremely helpful, so he agreed to give me 90 and try that. It was a huge success! Until the samples he gave me ran out. You see, my insurance doesn't cover Cymbalta and it runs about $350 for 30 pills. I found a Discount RX place on line that I joined and I can get my 60mg at Walgreens for $135. BUT the price for 30 of the 30mg to add to the 60mg is $335.00. That didn't fly with a certain person in this house.....so after going thru hell for a few days after the 2 times I did get it filled, I finally just dropped back to taking 60mg and figured it would be better than nothing.
Anyway, Dr. H was thinking that I had been doing better on Zoloft than on the 90mg of Cymbalta and maybe I should switch back. So, I confessed my story about the Cymbalta and it all became very clear to him, because he was amazed that it wasn't helping me more. He also said that all of my symptoms went along with the depression and he really didn't think my hormones were involved here at all. He left the room and came back in with a bag full of samples of the 30mg. 3 months worth to be exact. Of course, I started crying....and he started laughing! He said, "I'll take care of you. You've been going thru too much for too long and it's high time you got feeling better.". So I thanked him profusely, but then asked him what would I do at the end of 3 months. He said, you come back and see me to check your progress and we do this again. Simple.
What a guy. And so.....I am well on my way to getting my life back and to being ME again. Being a better mother, grandmother, friend and wife (even if I'm not worth an extra $350 a month, LOL.) I shouldn't say that because I'm sure if I wasn't so emotional (which he hates) I could explain it and make him understand that it's not "all in my head". But now I don't have to :).
Now.....if I can find a Maine Coon cat, life will be good!
The problem with my new glasses is that I like them so well, I didn't wear my contact for 2 days! Heh. So that 'set me back' on my adjustment period a bit. I went with Chuck yesterday for his eye exam (to make sure he didn't leave with dorky new glasses, LOL) and I talked to her about the difficulty with reading the computer. She said she could adjust the prescription, but that she set it for regular reading and I decided I would leave it as is. I'll just do most of my computing in the AM before I put in my contact, and in the evening after I take it out. Or, maybe I'll simply adjust. For all other applications, it's totally awesome! Now I just have to break the habit of grabbing my chest every time I go to read something {since I've worn my glasses on a chain around my neck for the last 4 or 5 years!}.
As for my Doctor appointment....I went to see him thinking that I maybe needed to go back on Premarin (HRT). I haven't written about it.....but, hell, I haven't written much of anything in so long it's ridiculous. Part of the reason is the old "snoopy reader/prying eyes" thing, but I don't think there's anyone reading me anymore that I don't want here, and if there is.......tough noogies.
I think I wrote about going OFF Premarin many months ago, in my old blog {the one that got swallowed up into the blogoshere), but that did happen not long before my surgery (which was March 30th). He figured that since I had been on it for 10 years, he wanted me to think about going off it and see what resulted. I joked at the time that if I grew a mustache I was going right back on it, but that never happened so I didn't give anything else much thought.
Shortly thereafter, I was caught up in the whirlwind of preparing for, having and recovering from my Spinal Fusion Surgery. Between the various and severe pain involved, the emotional drama induced by being slapped in the face with limitations that I couldn't have fathomed and the whole process in general......let's suffice to say that I have been a train wreck for a very long time! Now that I am 7 months post-op and am {sorta} feeling a bit like my old self {sometimes}, even tho' it is too soon to know exactly what my permanent limitations will be.....I'm just not happy with where I am right now. Here's a peek into a Day in the Life of Yankeechick.
Well, mayhaps I won't do that. Let me just say that I have been having horrendous mood swings and have been SO emotional that I have been making myself crazy, as well as a couple of my dear friends that have to deal with me on a daily basis....neither of whom I will talk to about what my problem is, because most of the time I don't even know myself. Or, even worse....I DO know, and it's so ridiculous and petty that I'm ashamed to admit it. {which of course makes me more emotional}. My anxiety levels are off the charts, partially due to putting so much energy into trying to suppress and hide my feelings. I spend so much time doing that, even when I'm by myself, that I can't make myself do anything else. I don't even call my babies or lovely daughter, because I know I'll hang up the phone and literally cry for hours. All I do is cry. When I'm not crying, I am pissed off at the world. And I mean PISSED. One of my friends is like my own personal little punching bags and why this person puts up with me, I have no idea.
In addition to all that, there have been mini hot flashes {more like 'flushes'}, night sweats, not sleeping and the worst thing (along with the uncontrollable emotions) is not wanting to do ANYthing. No quilting, no knitting, no reading. I can't stand sitting in the house, so I drive into town with a list of several things to do....and then don't wanna do them. So I drive. Driving helps. I like to drive. One day I just kept driving and found myself halfway across Missouri before I snapped out of it.
Do I sound totally crazy or what? "Unstable" is the word that keeps popping into my head. Not so, says Dr. H. He began to analyze my history with my anti-depressants. He had switched me from Zoloft to Cymbalta about a year ago or more. The transition went well, but it still wasn't cutting it. The usual dose of Cymbalta is 30 or 60 mg. He had me on 60, which is pretty much the max. I knew someone that was taking 90, however and it was extremely helpful, so he agreed to give me 90 and try that. It was a huge success! Until the samples he gave me ran out. You see, my insurance doesn't cover Cymbalta and it runs about $350 for 30 pills. I found a Discount RX place on line that I joined and I can get my 60mg at Walgreens for $135. BUT the price for 30 of the 30mg to add to the 60mg is $335.00. That didn't fly with a certain person in this house.....so after going thru hell for a few days after the 2 times I did get it filled, I finally just dropped back to taking 60mg and figured it would be better than nothing.
Anyway, Dr. H was thinking that I had been doing better on Zoloft than on the 90mg of Cymbalta and maybe I should switch back. So, I confessed my story about the Cymbalta and it all became very clear to him, because he was amazed that it wasn't helping me more. He also said that all of my symptoms went along with the depression and he really didn't think my hormones were involved here at all. He left the room and came back in with a bag full of samples of the 30mg. 3 months worth to be exact. Of course, I started crying....and he started laughing! He said, "I'll take care of you. You've been going thru too much for too long and it's high time you got feeling better.". So I thanked him profusely, but then asked him what would I do at the end of 3 months. He said, you come back and see me to check your progress and we do this again. Simple.
What a guy. And so.....I am well on my way to getting my life back and to being ME again. Being a better mother, grandmother, friend and wife (even if I'm not worth an extra $350 a month, LOL.) I shouldn't say that because I'm sure if I wasn't so emotional (which he hates) I could explain it and make him understand that it's not "all in my head". But now I don't have to :).
Now.....if I can find a Maine Coon cat, life will be good!
Friday, October 1, 2010
Doctors, Roses and Tahoes
Most things were going halfway decent this week. Got home from an interesting weekend of camping to become besieged with outrageous allergies, mostly due to the entire countryside being covered with a plethora of yellow 'flowers', AKA, Ragweed. The Ragweed and grass pollen counts are off the charts here and I've got it bad. Head and chest congestion, coughing up "pollen balls" (sounds better than phlegm) and much blowing. Yuck. It is very {unusually} dry and the lack of humidity and low dewpoint makes it worse. I pray for a break in the weather SOON!
While we were camping, we had a call that our friends son was in a motor cycle accident so they hopped in their truck and headed for the hospital, but did come back later, as he was 'fine'. Totaled the bike, but he escaped with only a broken collarbone and 3 staples in his head along with an abundance of 'road rash'. They guy that got hurt was Roy, that used to work for Chuck. He was riding the "Crotch Rocket" that belongs to the guy that currently works for Chuck. No insurance on the bike. Crazy people.
I had an appointment scheduled for my X-rays and visit with the Neurosurgeon on Wednesday. It was to be my long awaited and anxiously anticipated 6 month check up. The hospital lost my order for the X-Rays, causing a long enough of a delay that I couldn't see the surgeon afterward. That got rescheduled for today. MY surgeon was out of town, so I had to see another one. I was NOT happy about that, especially since I couldn't get any straight answers or information out of him. I did at least find out that my X-rays showed that all of my hardware is still in place and the bone grafts appear to be healing quite nicely. That is very good news, and my main concern, but......I had many questions about a few issues I have been having and some limitations I am still experiencing. Didn't get any satisfaction out of this guy! In a nut shell, he told me that I should be happy that I am not in as much pain as I was prior to the surgery; that I need to remember that I am no longer 20 years old {WTF?}; that where I am at might be as good as it gets but I should continue to see improvement over the next 6 months. Crap on a cracker. That was so not how I wanted this appointment to turn out.
I did finally get my Tahoe back on Wednesday after being without it for almost 3 weeks while Chuck's van was awaiting the arrival of a new engine. But then the water pump went out on the Tahoe, so I was without it for most of yesterday. Good grief. I think our vehicle situation should be back to 'normal' now and it sure feels good to have my 'Ho back!
The rose garden we put in last month seems to be a success! The gal we bought the roses from had trimmed them all back...a LOT, and after the trauma of the transplant I wasn't sure they would fare well, but they all have a lot of new growth and we have had a bloom here and there, but now they are suddenly growing like crazy! Here's a shot I took of one bloom and some buds on Monday,
And here they are today!
yep! These are all those little buds, all opened up and quite fragrant! The other plants are getting lots of buds, as well. Very encouraging, indeed. Now if we can just get them to survive the winter :)
While we were camping, we had a call that our friends son was in a motor cycle accident so they hopped in their truck and headed for the hospital, but did come back later, as he was 'fine'. Totaled the bike, but he escaped with only a broken collarbone and 3 staples in his head along with an abundance of 'road rash'. They guy that got hurt was Roy, that used to work for Chuck. He was riding the "Crotch Rocket" that belongs to the guy that currently works for Chuck. No insurance on the bike. Crazy people.
I had an appointment scheduled for my X-rays and visit with the Neurosurgeon on Wednesday. It was to be my long awaited and anxiously anticipated 6 month check up. The hospital lost my order for the X-Rays, causing a long enough of a delay that I couldn't see the surgeon afterward. That got rescheduled for today. MY surgeon was out of town, so I had to see another one. I was NOT happy about that, especially since I couldn't get any straight answers or information out of him. I did at least find out that my X-rays showed that all of my hardware is still in place and the bone grafts appear to be healing quite nicely. That is very good news, and my main concern, but......I had many questions about a few issues I have been having and some limitations I am still experiencing. Didn't get any satisfaction out of this guy! In a nut shell, he told me that I should be happy that I am not in as much pain as I was prior to the surgery; that I need to remember that I am no longer 20 years old {WTF?}; that where I am at might be as good as it gets but I should continue to see improvement over the next 6 months. Crap on a cracker. That was so not how I wanted this appointment to turn out.
I did finally get my Tahoe back on Wednesday after being without it for almost 3 weeks while Chuck's van was awaiting the arrival of a new engine. But then the water pump went out on the Tahoe, so I was without it for most of yesterday. Good grief. I think our vehicle situation should be back to 'normal' now and it sure feels good to have my 'Ho back!
The rose garden we put in last month seems to be a success! The gal we bought the roses from had trimmed them all back...a LOT, and after the trauma of the transplant I wasn't sure they would fare well, but they all have a lot of new growth and we have had a bloom here and there, but now they are suddenly growing like crazy! Here's a shot I took of one bloom and some buds on Monday,
And here they are today!
yep! These are all those little buds, all opened up and quite fragrant! The other plants are getting lots of buds, as well. Very encouraging, indeed. Now if we can just get them to survive the winter :)
Tuesday, June 15, 2010
Never Fails to Amaze Me
My dear sweet Maggie is going to be 13 on the 17th....this Thursday. I have purchased several things and sent them on their way, but you only turn 13 once and it IS a big deal, so I wanted to send her flowers as well. OMG! Last time I sent flowers was to Riley for her Sweet 16 and have the prices ever gone up since then!! But I found this and thought it would be so cute and perfect.
It was only $29.99. A bit pricey for what you get, but within my 'budget' considering I had already gone over budget. Heh. Well, let me tell you. Add to that $9.99 handling fee and $29.95 delivery charge= Grammy changed her mind! Is that unreal or what?!?! Gads, they're going to North Pole, Alaska.....not "THE" North Pole! Oh well......Maybe another time, my sweet Maggie.
Let's see......on my list of exciting things that happened today is my Tahoe (affectionately known as my Big Black 'Ho) rolled over to 100,004 miles when I rolled into my driveway today. Even when I've had older vehicles, I've never had one roll over 100,000. Quit a milestone, and she's still purrs like a tiger. Nothing like a good ol' Chevy truck to go the extra mile(s) for ya! Hubby's van is close to 180,000 at last report and it's still running great.
Another exciting thing that happened to me today was to find out that my Surgeon won't give me any more Vicodin. He says that Tylenol should be all I need at this point and if I still need something stronger, he needs to see me. F*$#! Most of the pain I have now is located in my lower back/upper hip area on my right side. J, my PT gal says that it is my muscles and it's from over-doing it or doing things I shouldn't be doing. She can give me a massage in that area and I'm good for a couple of days, then .....boom. It's back. Hurts to walk, mostly, but aches all the time. In between massages, that is. Unless I take Vicodin.....I've tried Tylenol and it doesn't help. Can't take Advil or ibuprofen because of my arthritis meds. F$#*! I'm a little bit frustrated (what else is new) and I guess, I'll see what J says tomorrow and if she thinks I need to go see him, I will. It's been 11 weeks today and I would really like to have him take an X-Ray and see if the healing of the bone grafts has begun. It can show up as soon as 3 months but sometimes not until 5 or 6 months. He didn't want to see me for 6 months. BAH!!!!!!!!!!!
So what the hell am I supposed to do?! Chuck can't work all day and then come home and do everything! I know I am bending and lifting and carrying a bit too much, but there are SO many things that I am still not even attempting to do that it seems like my body would allow me a little leeway here! Guess not. I sit too long sometimes, I carry too many bags of groceries at a time, I reach up too high putting dishes and such away. But I don't sweep, mop, wash windows, carry ALL the laundry up and down stairs.
Maybe I'm gonna be one of those people that doesn't get total relief from the surgery. God knows, it is 1000 times better than it was. Pain isn't shooting down my legs and I CAN walk, after all. Poor Chuck gently reminds me every day that I am expecting too much too soon.
And Chuck is home and out mending the fence that The Girls kicked down and I can't even go out and whine to him because his 'shadow girl' is there! So you guys get to read it. All 3 or 4 of you that come here. Heavy sigh. I have 2 Vicodin left. Had I known I couldn't have more, I would have saved it for when the kids are here. F*$#!
Okay, enough sniveling. The good news is that tomorrow I will have PURPLE low-lights in my hair. That will surely perk me up. Heh. AND in 3 days at this time, I will have been hugging and kissing on Riley and Timmy for 7 whole hours!!!!!!!!!
In the meanwhile, I will go to the barn and hug her:
and her:
"Snoopy Sniffer" LOL
It was only $29.99. A bit pricey for what you get, but within my 'budget' considering I had already gone over budget. Heh. Well, let me tell you. Add to that $9.99 handling fee and $29.95 delivery charge= Grammy changed her mind! Is that unreal or what?!?! Gads, they're going to North Pole, Alaska.....not "THE" North Pole! Oh well......Maybe another time, my sweet Maggie.
Let's see......on my list of exciting things that happened today is my Tahoe (affectionately known as my Big Black 'Ho) rolled over to 100,004 miles when I rolled into my driveway today. Even when I've had older vehicles, I've never had one roll over 100,000. Quit a milestone, and she's still purrs like a tiger. Nothing like a good ol' Chevy truck to go the extra mile(s) for ya! Hubby's van is close to 180,000 at last report and it's still running great.
Another exciting thing that happened to me today was to find out that my Surgeon won't give me any more Vicodin. He says that Tylenol should be all I need at this point and if I still need something stronger, he needs to see me. F*$#! Most of the pain I have now is located in my lower back/upper hip area on my right side. J, my PT gal says that it is my muscles and it's from over-doing it or doing things I shouldn't be doing. She can give me a massage in that area and I'm good for a couple of days, then .....boom. It's back. Hurts to walk, mostly, but aches all the time. In between massages, that is. Unless I take Vicodin.....I've tried Tylenol and it doesn't help. Can't take Advil or ibuprofen because of my arthritis meds. F$#*! I'm a little bit frustrated (what else is new) and I guess, I'll see what J says tomorrow and if she thinks I need to go see him, I will. It's been 11 weeks today and I would really like to have him take an X-Ray and see if the healing of the bone grafts has begun. It can show up as soon as 3 months but sometimes not until 5 or 6 months. He didn't want to see me for 6 months. BAH!!!!!!!!!!!
So what the hell am I supposed to do?! Chuck can't work all day and then come home and do everything! I know I am bending and lifting and carrying a bit too much, but there are SO many things that I am still not even attempting to do that it seems like my body would allow me a little leeway here! Guess not. I sit too long sometimes, I carry too many bags of groceries at a time, I reach up too high putting dishes and such away. But I don't sweep, mop, wash windows, carry ALL the laundry up and down stairs.
Maybe I'm gonna be one of those people that doesn't get total relief from the surgery. God knows, it is 1000 times better than it was. Pain isn't shooting down my legs and I CAN walk, after all. Poor Chuck gently reminds me every day that I am expecting too much too soon.
And Chuck is home and out mending the fence that The Girls kicked down and I can't even go out and whine to him because his 'shadow girl' is there! So you guys get to read it. All 3 or 4 of you that come here. Heavy sigh. I have 2 Vicodin left. Had I known I couldn't have more, I would have saved it for when the kids are here. F*$#!
Okay, enough sniveling. The good news is that tomorrow I will have PURPLE low-lights in my hair. That will surely perk me up. Heh. AND in 3 days at this time, I will have been hugging and kissing on Riley and Timmy for 7 whole hours!!!!!!!!!
In the meanwhile, I will go to the barn and hug her:
and her:
"Snoopy Sniffer" LOL
Wednesday, September 23, 2009
Not Sure What to Think....
There is a sign attached to the light pole at the end of our road, where it turns onto the 'main' road.
LOST
Female Shitzu
Red Collar
REWARD
Dead or Alive
470-000-0000
Not quite sure what to think of this one. Personally, when it comes to Shitzus, I don't care for them dead OR alive, but if it was my beloved pooch, I would prefer "Alive". I realize that this person, ultimately, just wants to know for sure what happened to their dog, but the wording struck me as quite odd. Mayhaps it's just me..... I hope the little pooch is found....'alive'.
My back continues to feel terrific (well, as terrific as it can), but the damage I inflicted on my hip by waiting too long to get my injection is still causing persistent discomfort, accompanied by frequent and searing jolts of pain. These jolts are accompanied by involuntary yelps of pain which Hubs is finding most distracting/disconcerting/annoying. I suppose I need to get an appointment with my "Hip Doctor", who is in the same office as my "Spine Doctor", but not to be confused with my Neurosurgeon. I have been going with the logic that I caused a severe bout of Bursitis to flare up, but it does feel different this time than last. And although I am 'resting it' sorta kinda (by not working, at least) it will only ease up a bit after a handful of Tylenol and then returns with a vengeance! The strangest motions set it off. For example....I just now, quite simply, reached for my Pepsi can to take a sip, whilst sitting in my chair typing this. Only moved my arm about 10 inches.....and YELP! It's just what I need. There's no end to it.
And speaking of my 3 doctors, I am having a rather difficult time with the one that I think should be signing my Leave of Absence papers for W*M. Been waiting all day for a call back from the disagreeable wench that does his LOA and Disability paper work. She is one of those people that is "too busy" to shut up and listen, so we had quite an annoying conversation. Since it is now past their closing time, I will pursue her again in the AM, because I NEED SOME ANSWERS HERE!
Female Shitzu
Red Collar
REWARD
Dead or Alive
470-000-0000
Not quite sure what to think of this one. Personally, when it comes to Shitzus, I don't care for them dead OR alive, but if it was my beloved pooch, I would prefer "Alive". I realize that this person, ultimately, just wants to know for sure what happened to their dog, but the wording struck me as quite odd. Mayhaps it's just me..... I hope the little pooch is found....'alive'.
My back continues to feel terrific (well, as terrific as it can), but the damage I inflicted on my hip by waiting too long to get my injection is still causing persistent discomfort, accompanied by frequent and searing jolts of pain. These jolts are accompanied by involuntary yelps of pain which Hubs is finding most distracting/disconcerting/annoying. I suppose I need to get an appointment with my "Hip Doctor", who is in the same office as my "Spine Doctor", but not to be confused with my Neurosurgeon. I have been going with the logic that I caused a severe bout of Bursitis to flare up, but it does feel different this time than last. And although I am 'resting it' sorta kinda (by not working, at least) it will only ease up a bit after a handful of Tylenol and then returns with a vengeance! The strangest motions set it off. For example....I just now, quite simply, reached for my Pepsi can to take a sip, whilst sitting in my chair typing this. Only moved my arm about 10 inches.....and YELP! It's just what I need. There's no end to it.
And speaking of my 3 doctors, I am having a rather difficult time with the one that I think should be signing my Leave of Absence papers for W*M. Been waiting all day for a call back from the disagreeable wench that does his LOA and Disability paper work. She is one of those people that is "too busy" to shut up and listen, so we had quite an annoying conversation. Since it is now past their closing time, I will pursue her again in the AM, because I NEED SOME ANSWERS HERE!
Tuesday, September 22, 2009
SURPRISE! Or Not.......
So, I have been playing around over here cuz I'm tired of the limitations that confront me with my lack of WP.org knowledge and ability and am finding that I might just like it here for a change........or not. We shall see. Nothing is set in stone. I'm just gonna post here tonight and see how I feel about it :)
Having this time off from work, I have been able to get back in my kitchen with some time and energy and actually prepare meals, people! I love to cook, although I do admit to the act of doing it e.v.e.r.y. night for 40 years became a bit dreary and tiresome. The past year that I have been at W*M, working late hours, has left Chuck to fend for himself most nights so he is enjoying having real meals every night once again, as well. I've been sticking with old favorites, until last night whist chatting with my sweet Terri on line and she gave me the incentive to try a new dish. She was telling me about a new restaurant that we need to try when I go up to visit and that they make the best Carne Asada. Not knowing what that was, I looked it up, found this and made it for dinner tonight
It turned out delightfully delicious! The meat marinade was heavenly, key notes being the fresh lime and cilantro complete with the char broiled effect of my grill. Very Yummy and a keeper for sure!
It was a beautiful day here today, but I for sure felt in my 'mental element' as a Yankee Lost in the Ozarks! As I was flitting around town (well, hobbling, rather than flitting, as my hip is still bothering a bit. Whatever) thoroughly enjoying the 68 degree day I began to notice something. It wasn't sunny, but rather cloudy and very misty. Enjoyable temp, nonetheless! I was noticing, however, that I was pretty much the only person wearing shorts and a t-shirt. People had sweaters on. Some people were wearing jackets. WTF?!? I began to feel a bit out of place (which I am) and like people were 'looking' at me (which they were). LOL Kinda funny I think.
I was finally able to get my Leave of Absence packet from W*M late this afternoon, so tomorrow I will proceed to determine exactly which Doctor will take responsibility and sign it for me. Once that is turned in, my Short Term Disability should kick in and I'll be good until I see the surgeon on Oct 8th and start the process for the real thing. I am wondering if I should do this with the aid of an attorney, however. I suppose the Doctor can advise me on that from his experience. Any of you that have any insight, please feel free to share your comments.
I'm going to lunch with Victoria again tomorrow. We had such a good time last week and it was so good to be with someone that I have known for so long and so well. We caught up on kids, cats, dogs, mutual friends, old co-workers. It was all good and I truly enjoyed it. Last time we tried, I guess I just wasn't ready. It didn't feel right. Now it does.
I think that's it for tonight. I have some quilting to do before Chuck goes to bed and the sound of my sewing machine keeps him awake. Geez. For such a big house, there are no quiet corners! Mayhaps I could move my sewing room to the barn :) (or his bed......)
Having this time off from work, I have been able to get back in my kitchen with some time and energy and actually prepare meals, people! I love to cook, although I do admit to the act of doing it e.v.e.r.y. night for 40 years became a bit dreary and tiresome. The past year that I have been at W*M, working late hours, has left Chuck to fend for himself most nights so he is enjoying having real meals every night once again, as well. I've been sticking with old favorites, until last night whist chatting with my sweet Terri on line and she gave me the incentive to try a new dish. She was telling me about a new restaurant that we need to try when I go up to visit and that they make the best Carne Asada. Not knowing what that was, I looked it up, found this and made it for dinner tonight
It turned out delightfully delicious! The meat marinade was heavenly, key notes being the fresh lime and cilantro complete with the char broiled effect of my grill. Very Yummy and a keeper for sure!
It was a beautiful day here today, but I for sure felt in my 'mental element' as a Yankee Lost in the Ozarks! As I was flitting around town (well, hobbling, rather than flitting, as my hip is still bothering a bit. Whatever) thoroughly enjoying the 68 degree day I began to notice something. It wasn't sunny, but rather cloudy and very misty. Enjoyable temp, nonetheless! I was noticing, however, that I was pretty much the only person wearing shorts and a t-shirt. People had sweaters on. Some people were wearing jackets. WTF?!? I began to feel a bit out of place (which I am) and like people were 'looking' at me (which they were). LOL Kinda funny I think.
I was finally able to get my Leave of Absence packet from W*M late this afternoon, so tomorrow I will proceed to determine exactly which Doctor will take responsibility and sign it for me. Once that is turned in, my Short Term Disability should kick in and I'll be good until I see the surgeon on Oct 8th and start the process for the real thing. I am wondering if I should do this with the aid of an attorney, however. I suppose the Doctor can advise me on that from his experience. Any of you that have any insight, please feel free to share your comments.
I'm going to lunch with Victoria again tomorrow. We had such a good time last week and it was so good to be with someone that I have known for so long and so well. We caught up on kids, cats, dogs, mutual friends, old co-workers. It was all good and I truly enjoyed it. Last time we tried, I guess I just wasn't ready. It didn't feel right. Now it does.
I think that's it for tonight. I have some quilting to do before Chuck goes to bed and the sound of my sewing machine keeps him awake. Geez. For such a big house, there are no quiet corners! Mayhaps I could move my sewing room to the barn :) (or his bed......)
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