The Blessings of Life ♥

And this, my friends, is a collage of my greatest treasures. The true blessings of my life. Timmy♥Emily♥Xander♥Riley♥Terri♥Maggie♥

37 DAYS!!!!!!!!

It seems like I made my reservations eons ago, but it's down to 37 days until my trip to Alaska to visit my babies and see my Riley graduate!  Weeeeeeeeeee...........  The next month will go ever so fast!

I sure haven't been here for awhile and just when I was getting sorta regular about blogging.  Damn.  And I am ever so behind on reading blogs, as well.  I've got a lot of catching up to do. My excitement about signing up with WildBlue for satellite internet service was a big farce. Long story short, I spent most of the last month running on dial-up speeds and it would take forever just to leave a comment or 2 on FaceBook, so I didn't even bother trying to do much else. We are taking it in the shorts big time to get out of our contract {almost $300} but in the long run, we will actually save a lot more.  The phone company gave us a great deal for signing back up for DSL, so in the end it will all be good.

I spent much of that time going through my photos {of which there were like 4,900 plus}.  I sorted, organized, deleted and am down to about 3700.  Still need to go thru and delete a bunch more, but at least now they are all categorized in my Adobe Photoshop and it will be easier to do all the now.  I also got some old, old files cleaned out.  I mean really, just because I have room doesn't mean I have to keep every little thing!

Another sore subject.....Next week will be the 1 year 'anniversary' of my back surgery.  I am not even CLOSE to being where I thought I would be at this point.  The good news is that I am not in almost constant excruciating pain, as I was prior to the surgery.  The bad news is, I DO still have a lot of pain and the promises of being able to do things after 8-12 months had passed, was all just a dream.  Even tho I try to keep exercising, I can't get to the point where I can walk very far or for very long at all.....depending on what day it is, of course.  I sure as hell know there is no sense even attempting to ride Susie.  At this point, I am working as hard as I can and praying for the fortitude to just get my sorry butt through the airports so I can make this trip to Alaska!  Hopefully the electric carts will be in the vicinity when I need them, because NO.....I am way too obstinate to request a freaking wheel chair to transport me from gate to gate!  Nope.  Nada. No way.

The last year has been such an emotional and physical roller coaster.  There are some things, little things that actually continue to improve, but the fact of the matter is, I have been left with limitations that I never expected and I'm having a hard time accepting. Never in my wildest dreams, did I expect to be a 'crippled old lady' at 58!  And most days That is my worst struggle.  So I lapse into this funk of "why did this have to happen to me", for awhile.  Then I pull myself up and tell myself to just deal with the cards I've been dealt and make the best of it!  And I do...........for awhile......then I fall again.  Yeah, sometimes literally, because when I least expect it a leg will give out on me....but usually I fall figuratively, into the funk.  I know it could be worse.  Doesn't matter what anyone's situation is, it could always be worse. Some days it's just hard to see past my own current situation.  Selfish

I am praying that this month in Alaska with my sweet Terri and Mike and the kids will be just what I need to help turn me around.  I mean, the best part of this past year was when Riley and Timmy were here.  It was magical and I'm so anxious to soak up some more of that magic from ALL of them!! 

And that's it for this dreary entry.......yawn.....

Another Revolting Development

The world of computers can be SO complicated and confusing sometimes.  Why is it that some people just go thru their life never having to give their computer, or what they do on it, a second thought and yet it seems that I am always in a jam, of sorts?

A month ago, I was delighted to be changing over from DSL with my phone company to WildBlue Satellite Internet service.  It was a package deal with DirectTV and the end result is that we are saving $50 a month.  The part about replacing Dish Network with Direct has been awesome.  The thing with WildBlue??  Not so much. 

Now, trust me when I say, I research the living crap out of things before I make any changes or decisions or buy much of ANYthing.  So......yes, I read that WildBlue has limited bandwidth usage {due to fed regs regarding satellite usage..blah, blah} but I was getting the Pro Plan, which has the highest speeds and usage, so surely little ol me wasn't gonna come close to the limits and certainly not exceed them,  right??  Wrong!  Oh, I was so very wrong.  I hit my download limit in a week!  They gave me a one time courtesy reset back to 40%.  I watched my usage like a hawk and it mysteriously creeps back up daily.  As we speak, I am at 99% which means that before the day is over, I will be on "dial-up speed" until my usage drops. *Sigh*  A lot "should" drop off today, or tonight, or whenever.  It's on a 30 day roll over thingy.  At the end of your 1st 30 days, they take an average of your usage for the last 30 days and adjust your totals accordingly....every day.  So, 30 days ago today I downloaded {in my ignorant wisdom} 2,997,738 KB which is 2,927.47 MBs.  My limit for MB downloading is 17,000 MB {which I NOW know is freaking unbelievable!}so at some point, in the next 24 hours, my level will drop and free up some space. 

Most of that 3 GBs was from downloading a trial of PhotoShop Elements 9.  I was, at that time, totally ignorant of the 'rules'.  I download programs all the time.  No big deal, right?  Order a disc for 'just in case' and go on about my business.  Won't be doing that much anymore!  I love the new version of PS 9, tho' and can't wait until I have enough bandwidth so I can watch the tutorial videos....ahem.

The 1st thing I found that I can no longer use, is my beloved Carbonite for online backup.  I love Carbonite and it has been a God send on 3 or 4 occasions!  But, my last back up was 41 GBs.  SO....even tho my daily backups of whatever pictures and documents I might have would still be doable, there's no way I would ever be able to restore my backup!  Had to go buy an external hard drive for backing up everything and I don't trust those.  I had a defective one once and lost everything, which is when I switched to Carbonite.  And of course, I just paid my annual membership a couple months ago :(.

So I am now suffering from BSD {Bandwidth Stress Disorder}.  Not reading emails, not reading blogs (there are 233 unread blogs in my Google Reader....eeeep), not looking things up at random, not doing much of ANY thing!  I'm afraid that every little thing is going to put me over the edge! 

I guess I can't even watch the TV shows on my computer that I have recorded on our new DVR from Direct!  But I'm not SURE because I don't wanna waste the usage to research it!!  I know I could call, but I feel really stupid asking.  Not sure why.  I am thinking that since it is all tied together via my router, that it wouldn't actually be 'downloading'  and therefore not using any bandwidth, but if it counts as 'file sharing', then it will.  AGHHHHHHHHH. 

So, Chuck saves $50 a month and is pleased as hell with his TV and I am totally screwed with my computer!  And, no, I haven't told him about all this yet.  I'm pretty sure his head would explode if I tried to explain it and the explosion would be followed by a reprimand for not checking it out more carefully.  {Like I haven't beat myself up enough over it!}

Oh, yes.....one more thing.  Please DO beware of contracting BSD {Bandwidth Stress Disorder}.  It seems that it causes an unnatural craving for Skittles, which leads to a serious addiction.  It's BAD, people.  Very, very bad!!

Life is Too Short

A dear friend lost his brother in a tragic accident last Thursday.  He was cutting trees at their parents house, when one bounced back and pinned him under it.  Their 86 year old father stood helplessly by and watched his youngest son slowly die before the EMTs could get there.  Big brother arrived at the same time as the EMTs; they were all too late to help him.  He was non-responsive at that point and pronounced dead at the hospital.

He was only 52 years old.  Actually, he would have been 52 yesterday.  His family couldn't have his funeral on his birthday, so it is today.  After a couple of failed marriages, he finally met his perfect match about 6 years ago and they have been married about 5 years. Thankfully, his last few years were happy ones and spent with someone that he could enjoy a rich full life with.

My heart aches for my friend, to have lost his only sibling. Sadly, I have 1st hand experience. They were very close and involved in so many things together.  But even more, my heart aches for their parents.  To lose a child is the greatest pain and loss a person can experience.  To witness it and be helpless to do anything? Even worse.

It's a grave reminder that life is too short, and can be even shorter when least expected. 

And all I can do is pray for all of them.  How I wish I could do so much more...........