37 DAYS!!!!!!!!

It seems like I made my reservations eons ago, but it's down to 37 days until my trip to Alaska to visit my babies and see my Riley graduate!  Weeeeeeeeeee...........  The next month will go ever so fast!

I sure haven't been here for awhile and just when I was getting sorta regular about blogging.  Damn.  And I am ever so behind on reading blogs, as well.  I've got a lot of catching up to do. My excitement about signing up with WildBlue for satellite internet service was a big farce. Long story short, I spent most of the last month running on dial-up speeds and it would take forever just to leave a comment or 2 on FaceBook, so I didn't even bother trying to do much else. We are taking it in the shorts big time to get out of our contract {almost $300} but in the long run, we will actually save a lot more.  The phone company gave us a great deal for signing back up for DSL, so in the end it will all be good.

I spent much of that time going through my photos {of which there were like 4,900 plus}.  I sorted, organized, deleted and am down to about 3700.  Still need to go thru and delete a bunch more, but at least now they are all categorized in my Adobe Photoshop and it will be easier to do all the now.  I also got some old, old files cleaned out.  I mean really, just because I have room doesn't mean I have to keep every little thing!

Another sore subject.....Next week will be the 1 year 'anniversary' of my back surgery.  I am not even CLOSE to being where I thought I would be at this point.  The good news is that I am not in almost constant excruciating pain, as I was prior to the surgery.  The bad news is, I DO still have a lot of pain and the promises of being able to do things after 8-12 months had passed, was all just a dream.  Even tho I try to keep exercising, I can't get to the point where I can walk very far or for very long at all.....depending on what day it is, of course.  I sure as hell know there is no sense even attempting to ride Susie.  At this point, I am working as hard as I can and praying for the fortitude to just get my sorry butt through the airports so I can make this trip to Alaska!  Hopefully the electric carts will be in the vicinity when I need them, because NO.....I am way too obstinate to request a freaking wheel chair to transport me from gate to gate!  Nope.  Nada. No way.

The last year has been such an emotional and physical roller coaster.  There are some things, little things that actually continue to improve, but the fact of the matter is, I have been left with limitations that I never expected and I'm having a hard time accepting. Never in my wildest dreams, did I expect to be a 'crippled old lady' at 58!  And most days That is my worst struggle.  So I lapse into this funk of "why did this have to happen to me", for awhile.  Then I pull myself up and tell myself to just deal with the cards I've been dealt and make the best of it!  And I do...........for awhile......then I fall again.  Yeah, sometimes literally, because when I least expect it a leg will give out on me....but usually I fall figuratively, into the funk.  I know it could be worse.  Doesn't matter what anyone's situation is, it could always be worse. Some days it's just hard to see past my own current situation.  Selfish

I am praying that this month in Alaska with my sweet Terri and Mike and the kids will be just what I need to help turn me around.  I mean, the best part of this past year was when Riley and Timmy were here.  It was magical and I'm so anxious to soak up some more of that magic from ALL of them!! 

And that's it for this dreary entry.......yawn.....