Friendship and loyalties......how deep should they run? I've always had a problem with this regarding both friends and family members. So quick to go to bat for someone dear to me. Always too quick to stop and think first. I just jump right in, defending, supporting, protecting. I figure if I care about someone, then I should put my 'outspoken' self to good use when I think they are being abused or attacked or otherwise mis-used by someone. A person should really think it over before getting out their "Poison Pen" {or, these days, their "Poison Keyboard" LOL} Because, when the dust settles, just who do you think it is that ends up getting screwed without a kiss, and left wondering........
The first time that I got out my Poison Pen was at least 35 years ago. My Mom and my Great-Aunt Ethel got into it over something. God only knows what, because I can't remember to save my life! But Aunt Ethel was really, really good at stirring things up. The more hurtful and hateful, the better. I just remember that she had my Mom SOOOOO upset, that my Dad was about to step in and give Aunt Ethel a piece of his mind (which was totally not my Dad's typical scenario). So.....I decided to take Poison Pen in hand and I wrote her a letter that would have scorched the Devil himself. When I got done verbally butchering her for the issue at hand, I tossed in few more of her devilish antics for good measure. End result? She and Mom made amends, actually because of some of the things I pointed out in my letter. But Aunt Ethel would have nothing to do with ME til the day she died, several years later.
I really think that was the only family member involved but it has happened numerous times thru the years and my loyalties usually leave me with being the bad guy. Odd man out. Go figure.
One of the worst cases was actually a little different scenario. In an attempt to aid an 'acquaintance' and offset a potentially dangerous situation, myself and a dear friend jumped in right up to our ears. Round and round it went. Tons of people involved, twisting and turning and dredging until the original 'cause' was lost in the shuffle and in the very end, friend and I were hung out to dry. Eventually and ultimately by the 'acquaintance'! WTF to the max! Epic Fail..........
Another time, I apparently looked at a long time buddy (with whom I had much in common) cross-eyed one day and she literally tore me a new a$$-hole on the world wide web! I have never been so humiliated, had such vile, hateful things said about me in my life! And such lies. That was the worst part. I'm so not perfect. In fact, much less so than most people, but really........Okay, so I look back on that and, obviously, realize that this person was never a friend and a thing like that can make you start to look around you. If you were me, would you feel 'set adrift' if close friends commiserated with you, but went on to continue their relationship with this 'buddy'. Would you feel hurt to see them together? Would you think that maybe they believed all the BS and doubted you? How would you feel? If the shoe was on the other foot, I am the sort of friend that would tend to back away from the buddy for having been so cruel and unjust to my friend. Probably gotten out my "Poison Keyboard" and made it worse. But that's just me. How deeply should the loyalties of friendship go?
I am quick to anger and quicker to hurt, which is a very bad combination, indeed. I am also quick to trust, but I'm learning. I need people in my life that I can feel good about and trust with anything and that I know I can count on.....always. And I have that in my wonderful little family. I am ever so blessed to have Terri & Mike and all of my wonderful grand-babies! Without them, life is bursting with insecurities and uncertainty. I DO have a lot of amazing friends out there, but I am learning that it is a rare, rare friendship that will ever be unblemished. I am learning never to expect that of others. It's just not the fair or right thing to do. But my family???? They better toe the line!! LMAO
*~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Yankee Chick~ Tales of a Yankee Lost in the Ozarks ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~*
